Martha “Reenie” Ginn June 23, 1916 – April 5, 2019 Since the original posting, Grandma has gone on to heaven. She was loved, treasured, and will be missed.
My Grandma is 102 and every day we have with her is a gift. Dementia has taken some of her memories, but it won’t take mine.
The wind chimes on my back porch sway in the light wind and sing a beautiful song. It reminds me of front porch sitting with my grandma. Her front porch was the most welcoming place in the world, adorned with pots of ferns and surrounded with hedge bushes. There are no problems in the world. No foreign crisis. No stock market decline, no one worrying about their retirement accounts on this front porch.
Just sit and stay awhile and rock in one of the red rocking chairs or swing on the porch swing. Wave as the cars pass, because it’s what Pop did. He’s been gone many years, but in spirit of Pop you wave.
You don’t even have to worry about meal time. Grandma has some cornbread made and you know she won’t ever let herself run out of “sweet milk”. And if she did you wouldn’t care because she would have a batch of buttermilk biscuits made before I would even have thought to preheat the oven. You will feel like you have won the lottery if she pulls a “candy pie” (sweet potato pie) out of the oven. You don’t have to worry over carbs either. You are at Grandma’s house, carbs don’t count.
She will beg you come in and tell her a story. Tell her about work. Ask if you “really do like it”? That’s my sweet Grandma’s way of asking if you are happy.
She wants to know about your friends. She isn’t prying, she is interested. Really interested in YOU.
Don’t worry about leaving. You can stay the night if you want. Even after I was a married woman I spent the night with her once. I drove the 3 miles to her house with my jammies and toothbrush in my bag. That night I wasn’t just spending the night with my grandma. I knew it was likely to be the last time. I didn’t sleep in the bed she made up for me in the guest room as she has always done. I slept next to her. In her bed. Like a kid scared from a bad dream I was scared to let the moment go. I was an adult now, and after losing my other grandma as a kid I wanted to grab hold of this chance and never let it go.
“You are the sweetest one”
I grin my biggest grin. Grandma knows how to get me. I’m putty with her. The world might hear me rap to Eminem perfectly, but my Grandma’s scolding of my uttering “dang” back in the 90s has me walking the line with this Bible guoting Grandma. She makes me want to be sweet. When someone tells you that “you are the sweetest one”, it has an effect on you. Now, I know she may have told everyone this same thing, but I believe her. Because she is Grandma and she knows these things.
She didn’t even own a pair of pants until she was 100 years old, and at that point God must come down from the heavens and told her to keep her legs warm… how do I know, well… ain’t likely she would have put them on if he hadn’t let her know.
I went to church with Grandma as a kid. (And not just any church, her church, the one she and Pop helped to start. Where she was treasurer for most of her years.) In fact it was with her and Pop one Sunday morning that I was saved. I was 9, and I can still remember her weeping over me. Talking in tongues and filled with the Holy Spirit in a way that would scare the devil out of a lot of folks.
So many of my life’s greatest experiences happened at that sweet little house she and Pop built. I heard stories of her life in the Great Depression. I heard tales of my dad as a kid. I learned about living on nothing. I learned about a level of contentment. My Grandma never talked of wanting riches or diamonds or worldly things. She and Pop had 3 kids! They had 5 grandkids. They were living the best life! They were happy.
Now, don’t get me wrong… it was always a running joke when Grandma would get flustered with Pop she would say “Now, Horace.” And he would instantly give her the perfect response “Now, Reenie”. We would always laugh. Because that was it. That was them having a disagreement. That was them communicating something none of us would ever interpret because it was their conversation. Sometimes Pop might have it coming by doing something awful like letting his dog on the porch when it was muddy. She would call to him from the front porch with her “Now, Horace.” He would respond with his apology of “Now, Reenie”. And he would whistle or sing as he went about dancing across the porch with his broom removing all the dirt from her pristine front porch.
When she was in her late 90s she went to the hospital. Thankfully my work schedule was such that I was off mid-week, so I was able to spend the night there with her. She woke the next morning ready to climb out of bed. Looking like she was about to solve the worlds problems with her sure and swift movements I asked her where she was going. She flung back the blankets and sure as the world she said “going to do work for the Lord.”
I suggested she let someone else handle it today and maybe consider retirement from her working days. I am quite sure she was praying for my soul as she tucked her feet back into the bed and I laid the blankets back over her. She was a solid woman, a determined woman… so I don’t now how I won that one…. but I whispered a thank you to God.
There were so many times as a kid I remember Grandma walking around saying “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” Now I don’t know if she was asking for him to give her patience with this grandkid that never seemed to be quiet (I was called motormouth for a reason.) or if maybe she was singing praise over having grandkids. Grandma and Pop showered us all with love. He would sing the silliest songs and have us in stitches laughing. She would take our hand in hers in the most loving way and say a prayer over us. It didn’t matter what was going on in life, that little house was like a haven from the world.
My grandma was always full of compliments. I never visited with her that she didn’t tell me something sweet. My shirt was a pretty color or my hair looked nice that day. She always made you feel good about yourself. You always felt the love with her. Always!
I always felt like she was the smartest woman in the world. She doesn’t remember my name today. She may look at me with a blank stare, at this moment she doesn’t see the freckle-faced baby granddaughter. But I see her. I know she is still in there. The dementia that has robbed her of her memories can’t steal mine, not today. In my mind, my sweet Grandma is singing “Victory in Jesus” in the most heavenly voice you can imagine. She can give you a Bible verse for every problem in the world. If you knew her in her pre-dementia days its likely you heard her pray and it’s also highly likely she prayed for you, even if you didn’t realize it.
My husband and I got married when we were 18. My Grandma sat right there on the pew next to my mom and dad, as my only living grandparent left she deserved the honor of being front and center with the mother and father of the bride. Several years later I went to visit her and as I was leaving I mentioned getting home to Bradley. She had a look of horror on her face and asked me why on Earth I would live with a man I wasn’t married to. I gently explained that we were in fact married, and then she had a look of sadness. “Why wasn’t I told?” With my heart broken at the idea of disappointing or hurting her I reminded her that she was there. I showed her the photo of us all on my wedding day that she had displayed on refrigerator. Her mind had begun to slip and this was my first glimpse. I had no idea that years later I would be visiting her nursing home room and have her telling me about herself, and wanting to hold back the tears because I have a feeling I know more about who she is than she does these days. And I wonder some days, if she were to hear the wind chimes; would it take her back to the front porch days of watching her grandkids play under that giant oak tree?!?
My beautiful Grandma is 102 and while she may not be able to remember who I am today, I know her. And y’all, SHE is the sweetest one.
What a touching post! And, what a nice point of view that even when your grandmother doesn’t remember who she is, you do. I needed to read this today so thank you for sharing it!